Quiz: Do you know how to buy groceries?

A fun little test that's totally not based on my life at all.

Here’s a fun quiz about division of labor. It’s definitely not based on things that have happened or could happen in my household. Nope. Nosiree. Not at all.

Ready?

Let’s begin.

I love that this photo exists

Imagine that your spouse / partner who normally does the grocery shopping—along with the meal planning and cooking—doesn’t have time to go to the store on a given week because they’re drowning in work. They ask if you’ll do “the big shopping,” and hand you the list they have very carefully compiled, with helpful details to ensure a successful trip. “Don’t forget the reusable bags!” they add as you head for the car.

Below are some of the items on the shopping list. Select which thing you will buy in each instance.

1. Mixed greens

   a.) A bag or box of the mixed salad greens that your spouse always buys, has bought for years, and that you yourself use when making salads

   b.) A bag of baby arugula, because you weren’t sure what your spouse meant by “mixed greens,” so maybe this will work?

   c.) One of those weird, expensive butter lettuce things with the roots at the bottom that’s barely enough for one salad and comes in a bulky plastic box that takes up half the fridge, because it’s what your parents always get, and you thought it might be a nice change.

2. 1.5 lbs grapes, but only if they’re $2.49/lb or less

   a.) 1.5 lbs grapes, because they were $2.29/lb.

   b.) 3 lbs of grapes—half of which will shrivel into what look like tiny, semi-deflated balloons before anyone gets around to eating them—because they were only $1.99/lb.

   c.) 1.5 lbs grapes even though they were $3.79/lb because “whatever, we’re fine.”

3. A 16-oz container of fat-free cottage cheese

   a.) A 16-oz container of fat-free cottage cheese

   b.) A 16-oz container of full-fat cottage cheese because you’ve told your spouse a million times they don’t need to lose weight for God’s sake, and even if they did, why should the rest of you suffer?

   b.) A 16-oz container of fat-free ricotta cheese. Sorry—you thought they were the same thing.

4. A 12-pack of seltzer—any flavor but lime

   a.) A 12-pack of some kind of seltzer that’s not lime

   b.) A 12-pack of lime seltzer

   c.) Text your spouse 4 times while they’re on a conference call: What flavor seltzer? Hello? Grapefruit or Black Cherry? HELLO??

5. Annie’s Bunny Fruit Snacks

   a.) Annie’s Bunny Fruit Snacks, because your spouse probably had a reason for specifying the brand rather than just saying “fruit snacks.” For example, perhaps Annie’s don’t contain gelatin, so your vegetarian child can eat them, unlike other brands, like Welch’s.

   b.) Welch’s Fruit Snacks, because they’re much cheaper. (And you’re already spending a lot on those grapes.)

   c.) You can’t find the fruit snacks.

6. One can of coconut milk

   a.) A standard, 15-oz can of coconut milk, like any normal person would buy if someone said to buy a can of coconut milk.

   b.) A huge, 24-oz can of coconut milk that your spouse will have to freeze most of, because the chicken curry recipe they’re planning to make only calls for one cup of coconut milk. (Note: the frozen leftover coconut milk will be found in the back of the freezer in two years, and nobody will know what it is.)

   c.) You can’t find the coconut milk.

7. 1 can of plain tomato sauce (not spaghetti sauce)

   a.) A standard, 15-oz can of plain tomato sauce, like any normal person would buy if someone said to buy a can of plain tomato sauce.

   b.) A teeny 8-oz can of tomato sauce that isn’t enough for the chicken curry recipe that your spouse is planning to make, which calls for one can of tomato sauce, such that your spouse will have to make a separate trip to the store later, just to get more tomato sauce.

   c.) A 24-ounce jar of spaghetti sauce.

8. Approx 3 lbs boneless, skinless chicken thighs

   a.) 3 lbs boneless, skinless chicken thighs

   b.) 5 lbs bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs

   c.) Shit, I knew I forgot something.

   BONUS QUESTION: Did you remember the reusable bags?

   a.) Yes!

   b.) No

   c.) No, why didn’t you remind me?

Now, tally up your score:

Mostly A’s: Nice job! Can you help do the shopping more often?

Mostly Bs & Cs: You know what? Forget it. I’ll go next time.

Happy shopping, y’all!

PS - Apropos of absolutely nothing, the author would like to note how very grateful she is for the fact that her husband does the lion’s share of routine housework, including but not limited to laundry, dishes, yardwork, vacuuming, and trash/recycling. The author also acknowledges that she leaves her shoes and empty water glasses / mugs all over the house. She would also like to note that she loves her husband very much—even when he does the grocery shopping.

PPS: For more exciting, grocery-related content, check out this post.

PPPS: Thank you for reading!

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