My college BFF, who happens to be a stripper, is running for mayor of Portland, Oregon.

An interview with Liv Osthus—aka "Viva Las Vegas"—mayoral candidate, magna cum laude.

So, I’ve never actually done an interview here on Jane’s Calamity before. But lately there have been instances when someone I know does something truly extraordinary, and I think: Doggone it, that person deserves to have their story told by ME, an unfamous writer with a Substack that reaches fewer people than your average high school newspaper.

One such person is one of my oldest, dearest friends, Liv Osthus, who recently announced that she is running for mayor of Portland, Oregon. (Or “Woke Portland,” as The New York Post moronically put it when they reported on her candidacy.)

Why was The New York Post reporting (moronically) on her candidacy? Well, it’s because Liv is not your typical candidate. She is not a lawyer or corporate suit or career politician. Rather, she’s a stripper—or “exotic dancer” as the media likes to say. She’s also a singer, a writer, a bartender, a mom, a breast cancer survivor, a pastor’s daughter, and a total goofball. But, yeah, it’s the stripper part that grabs people’s attention.

Liv and I met as freshmen at Williams College in Fall of 1992, and have been friends ever since. Williams—when we were there anyway—was heavier on the sporty, boarding school types and lighter on the artsy, silly types. So I count myself very lucky to have found some of “my people” at Williams in Liv and our mutual pals. (Not to mention my a cappella and African dance friends. And, oh yeah, my husband.)

We thought a lot of deep thoughts. Liv and me seen here, senior year, with our dear friend Amy, lower right, who died of cancer just 5 years after this picture was taken. Fucking A.

Both Liv and I majored in anthropology and spent semesters abroad in Africa (her, Tanzania, me, Cameroon). We shared a penchant for foreign languages, classical choral music, Beavis & Butthead, and being annoyed by pretentious, pseudo-intellectual fucks. But we also were and are quite different. Example: Liv was absolutely bereft when Kurt Cobain died during our sophomore year. I was, well, cognizant of it being a sad thing, and probably emblematic of….something about GenX and Reaganomics and the death of the American dream…? But at least Billy Joel wasn’t dead! Pass the Snapple!

Since college, I’ve watched with fascination and fondness from the other side of the country as Liv’s unconventional (especially for a Williams grad) life has unfolded. And I’m not the only one who finds her fascinating: Liv is the subject of an opera, “Viva’s Holiday,” and a short documentary, “Thank You For Supporting the Arts.” She also gave a killer TedxTalk about why she sees “sex work as a feminist enterprise and stripping as art.”

But now—NOW!—Liv has really arrived. Because now, she has been interviewed by me. I was delighted that she was willing to take some time in her busy schedule to answer my hard-hitting questions.

For a more traditional interview—if you’re into that kind of thing—about why Liv is running for mayor, and her vision for Portland, here’s a good one. In the meantime, here is the exclusive Jane’s Calamity interview of Liv Osthus (Viva Las Vegas, as she’s known on stage), would-be mayor.

Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiv!!!! I hear you are running for mayor of Portland. Why didn't you consult me about this first?

Liv: I mean... we're both working moms AND artists so I figured 1.) we share a brain and 2.) you're busy.

Honestly, though, the very words would get stuck in my throat. 

People have nudged me in this direction over the decades, and I've steadfastly refused. But as things have devolved in Portland and the US, I've felt compelled -- even called – to fight. I realize that this runs counter to any sane person's idea of what to do with their one wild and precious life. I had to sit quietly and alone with it for a long while, get really clear in my own heart that I wanted to proceed.

You have always been extremely thoughtful and intentional about your life’s choices, so this is not suprising to me. Plus, you’ve been engaged with political, cultural and civic life for years, and have been an outspoken advocate for sex workers as well. So really, this mayor move feels surprising yet inevitable—like a good story ending (according to Aristotle).

But enough about you. Back to me. How did the experience of being my closest friend in college and my maid of honor prepare you for the job of mayor? Please be specific.

Liv: I think we share an appreciation of irony and a gift for approaching life-or-death moments with sanguinity, smartassery, and whimsy. Anyone who can dissolve into laughter dissecting "the malaise of modernity" (we did coin that phrase, didn't we?) over lunch and dinner at those jock-filled dining halls can maintain hope when steering a city through very dark, dangerous waters. Also: I can navigate disappointment. I'd prefer you and I had remained suitemates for life, but you went and got married. I love Alastair, but it's hard.

Aw, same. Maybe thirty years from now, we’ll be suitemates again, Golden Girls style, and can throw social theory terminology around over late night cheesecake—or something else, because I don’t like cheesecake and you’re lactose intolerant. (BTW: Regarding “The Malaise of Modernity,” Google reminds me that it’s actually a name of a lecture and book by someone named Charles Taylor. Maybe we read it in one of our classes together?)

It’s interesting that we were both anthropology majors, yet neither of us went on to pursue careers directly related to it. OR DID WE??? How do you think your anthropology studies inform your worldview and the path you've taken, and how might they inform the way you govern as mayor?

Liv: I always say from the stage of the strip club that I am working in my field. Seriously, do you have any idea how many strippers majored in cultural anthropology? I look for ritual, tribal identity, and collective effervescence in every scenario. Strip clubs have got this in spades! And the band of witch-strippers that move through all these tribes are connected on such a deep level. We have special strength because we exist and thrive in liminal spaces. Also, I like to use the word "liminal" as often as possible.

Hands down one of my favorite words. Moving on to more pressing matters: when we were in college together, I many, MANY times saw you eat Lucky Charms with water, instead of milk. It still haunts me to this day. WHY, LIV. WHY??? 

Liv: It was HOT water, btw. It made the Lucky Charms into this magical, comforting soup. I could read it like tea leaves. And it was dairy-free (I was flirting with veganism and lactose intolerant).

Yeah, but still.

So: As a woman—one who is middle-aged, at that—a stripper, and a progressive, you will inevitably face a lot of misogyny, ageism, and all-around assholery from a certain segment of the populace and punditry during your campaign. How do you plan to protect yourself, emotionally speaking, from those fucking assholes? Are you at all worried about your safety and wellbeing? Or the wellbeing of your fab daughter? I worry about you. That's all.

Liv: I am very accustomed to facing the assholery and ignorance that arise from my being a sex worker. It's all misogyny, in my opinion. I've upped the ante in this fight FOR my daughter, that she will inhabit a more enlightened world. That said, I worry very much about her safety. She lives with her dad halftime at his downtown condo, where for some years, the outgoing mayor was her next-door neighbor. During the BLM protests, people were literally trying to set the condo building on fire with explosives. This is the political climate of our day. It SUCKS. Part of why I want to lead is to change this! Civility, listening, connecting.... with EVERYONE. Holding up a mirror to conflict and saying "Look! This conflict you're having – however minor or online or what have you – mirrors every conflict ever. Learn a new way of interacting!"

I did ask my daughter for permission to run, which was granted. We have a literal list of safe houses going. Perhaps we'll start fostering pitbulls, or dragons.

I vote for dragons. But, yes. Things are rough out there. It seems like so many people are just dead-set against trying to find common ground—or even just listen to each other.

You've lived in Portland for nearly 30 years, so you’ve seen a lot of change over time. What do you think has changed for the better, and what has changed for worse?

Liv: The food scene and small business scene have gotten better, but both are now on life support. The brilliant art community that existed here in the 80's, 90's, and early aughts attracted attention, then tourists, then development, and very quickly many of us could not afford to stay. So many artists have been pushed out by climbing prices. 

The houseless situation is bad everywhere (end-stage capitalism), but it is really bad here. We all carry Narcan in our dance bags; walk over possibly-dead bodies on our way to the bar. Fentanyl is monstrous.

However I do want to remember that our community members who suffer from addiction disorders also have a lot to offer. Every human has a rich story – every human deserves clean air, water, shelter, community. We've gotten so far from providing/expecting even these basic things.

That’s a great and important reminder. In so much discourse, the humanity and worth of people who are suffering or struggling is effectively forgotten—whether you’re talking about migrants, refugees, people who are unhoused or have addiction disorders, etc. They’re reduced from people to political talking points.

Speaking of politics: As you know, two members of our graduating class have held or currently hold high profile public offices: Senator Chris Murphy (D-Conn) and Bush family member Walker Stapleton, who was a two-term Colorado state treasurer and who ran an unsuccessful bid for governor. If either of them wanted to get into stripping, what advice would you give them?

Liv: I mean, a lot of the skillz politics hones would serve them on the strip stage: make eye contact, smile, listen, connect... Those over-the-knee boots are great for stripping in your late-forties, early-fifties. They are warm, and offer some semblance of knee protection.

I may need to get some of those. OK, POP QUIZ TIME! You've noted in the past that your name, "LIV" is the Roman numeral for 54, which I think we can both agree is an excellent number. We can also agree that Roman numbers are, generally speaking, very cool. Here are the names of three men who have Roman numerals after their names. Which of these is NOT a member of Williams ‘96? 

a.) Darwin E. English II

b.) Livingston Parsons III

c.) Walter Smedly IV

Liv: I'm going with b, because how would I have missed another Liv? Darby English was so dreamy. Where is he now?

YOU ARE CORRECT! Livingston Parsons III is actually a friend of mine. He’s a trip. And Walter “Wes” Smedly was a lovely fellow, as I recall. As for Darwin “Darby” English II (why II not junior? I do not know…), yes, he was dreamy indeed. He is now, not surprisingly, a very well regarded art historian at the University of Chicago. But check out this picture I found of him from a party our senior year. That’s me perched on the railing behind him, looking moody and resentful, as I did much of that year. (O pity the poor, angsty elite private college student….) I’m pretty sure this party was where I did tequila shots for the first and last time ever—lime and salt and all that. I got spectacularly sick. Puked until it hurt. To this day, I can’t drink a margarita.

But enough about me. Again. Livus: where can people learn more about you and your vision for Portland, and donate to your campaign if they feel so moved?

www.vivaforportland.com !!

Wonderful. Thank you so much for your time, my friend. Best of luck with the campaign and, as always, I am rooting for you! xoxoxo

Liv: XOXOXO

Awww. Babies.

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All posts on Jane’s Calamity are free and publicly available, but writing is how I make my living. If you enjoy my work, please consider upgrading to a paid subscription. Thank you for supporting the arts.

P.S. My next interview, whenever I get to it, will be with my friend Manjula Karamcheti, who was a contestant on Wheel! Of! Fortune!

P.P.S. T-minus 2 days til the paperback of The Society of Shame drops! (And the hardcover gets super discounted at your fave bookstore, maybe?) I’m so grateful to even HAVE a paperback coming out. Rebecca Makkai wrote an excellent post about paperbacks, why they happen, why they don’t, etc. Book nerds, check it out.

The beginning and end of my exoctic dancing career — outside the strip club in that Liv, our friend Rachel and I checked out on our senior year spring break trip to New Orleans.