I read this immediately after I spent a dumb amount of time trying to keep my makeup from caking up into those foxholes. Sigh. I know I look significantly younger than I am (although I'm not sure I feel 20% younger...and by my likely not entirely accurate calculations, that's still 10.9% older than you), but oh it's getting harder and harder to maintain the idea that I'm still in my late 30s like most people that meet me for the first time think I am. I think in some ways that makes it a little harder. I've been able to pull the wool over people's eyes forever, but I feel like that's sort of starting to come to a close and damn, that sucks.
If you're older than me, then you definitely look young for your age. I feel like I used to look much younger than my age than I do now, if that makes sense. Unless I'm in very dim lighting and the person looking at me is drunk.
Jane, Love your piece about aging! Your capture a woman's feelings about this stuff with such humor and candor; I made a copy of it as inspiration in writing my memoir. Read your intervierw which gives me a better idea about your upcoming book. Hope to see you at one of your book launches nearby.-Karen
I'm about 10 years older than you, and I believe that it does get better. You learn to let go of attachment to your looks, because life gives you no choice. Repeatedly. Over and over. A process of submission. The only thing that really helps is good friends. And yes, meditation.
Your writing is just so good -- funny, real, and from the heart. Thank you!
It's so much about genetics, so for years (and years and years) I've tried to embrace the "I'd rather wear out than rust out" philosophy.
Just realized that I'll be doing desserts at a wedding on 5/20 which is when you're signing in Freeport. Damn. Will have to catch you later in the summer, perhaps with the aforementioned chocolate cake!
Oh, my, I feel this. Both the New Yorker subscription (I just canceled too - couldn't take them stacking up and staring at me either. I was saying they need a "Reader's Digest" monthly edition of their best stories from each month.) And the face. I just keep hoping I can find a super rocking pair of glasses to hide all the wrinkles under the fab funky frames. I think this ...is the way.
If it makes you feel any better my skin has decided to become an uber-productive factory for skin tags and cherry angiomas, which makes makes me feel both unsexy and low-grade terrified I'll miss the small pox outbreak my inner hypochondriac is sure is camouflaging itself among my midlife bonus bits.
As one who is quickly approaching a REALLY BIG birthday number, I’m told I don’t look it and probably do think of myself as 20% younger. However, my core belief is that we should wear our wrinkles, sags, bags & greys with pride. Most of us have tried to live lives of meaningfulness, whether raising the next generation, caring for others, working for change in our communities. This all takes effort & hard work The effects on our bodies document our success & yes failures but not our decline! Be glad you have achieved whatever you’ve set out to do & can continue to do it. Use a little moisturizer, drink a lot of water* & celebrate that your good old body has stood by you long enough to give you the satisfaction of knowing you’re still killing it!
Yep, that's where I first saw it! I was totally suckered into buying it. My whole Instagram feed is ads for concealer, shapewear, and products that claim to help you sleep better. THEY TOTALLY KNOW.
Yep, I feel this. I remember standing with my mom in front of a mirror when she was about my current age, and she said “every morning I look in the mirror and think, ‘gosh I look tired today’ and i just realized that this is just how I look all the time now.” I have been noticing the same thing lately, when I look in the mirror and see the bags and circles under my eyes. I have never worn makeup regularly, but I recently invested in some expensive and amazing concealer. Seriously, this stuff covers up freckles, age spots, etc, and my teenage self would have drooled over its zit-covering potential. But you know what it doesn’t cover up? The SHADOWS cast by the GIANT bags under my eyes. It actually makes them worse somehow with greater contrast or something. I find myself feeling thankful that I have aged into needing glasses, because they (sort of) obstruct view of the bags. At least when I look in the mirror.
I think I feel about 38, so I guess I’m glad to be average.
Also, later today I received the weekly "Shabbat Shalom" email from our rabbi, which was vaguely related to aging and included this piece at the end by Letty Cottin Pogrebin:
"What good is it to turn fifty with an unwrinkled face if there’s no light behind the eyes, not passion in the voice, no new ideas happening in the head? Why hope to live a long life if we’re only going to fill it with self-absorption, body maintenance, and image repair? When we die, do we want people to exclaim, “She looked ten years younger,” or do we want them to say, “She lived a great life”?"
Yup, I SO want to be one of those mythical paragons you describe. Maybe we'll get there in a few years and we can have a cup of green tea together.
I read this immediately after I spent a dumb amount of time trying to keep my makeup from caking up into those foxholes. Sigh. I know I look significantly younger than I am (although I'm not sure I feel 20% younger...and by my likely not entirely accurate calculations, that's still 10.9% older than you), but oh it's getting harder and harder to maintain the idea that I'm still in my late 30s like most people that meet me for the first time think I am. I think in some ways that makes it a little harder. I've been able to pull the wool over people's eyes forever, but I feel like that's sort of starting to come to a close and damn, that sucks.
If you're older than me, then you definitely look young for your age. I feel like I used to look much younger than my age than I do now, if that makes sense. Unless I'm in very dim lighting and the person looking at me is drunk.
Jane, Love your piece about aging! Your capture a woman's feelings about this stuff with such humor and candor; I made a copy of it as inspiration in writing my memoir. Read your intervierw which gives me a better idea about your upcoming book. Hope to see you at one of your book launches nearby.-Karen
I'm about 10 years older than you, and I believe that it does get better. You learn to let go of attachment to your looks, because life gives you no choice. Repeatedly. Over and over. A process of submission. The only thing that really helps is good friends. And yes, meditation.
Your writing is just so good -- funny, real, and from the heart. Thank you!
Not submission. Surrender. Surrender is what I meant. (You see, the old brain is going too.)
Submission works too!
It's so much about genetics, so for years (and years and years) I've tried to embrace the "I'd rather wear out than rust out" philosophy.
Just realized that I'll be doing desserts at a wedding on 5/20 which is when you're signing in Freeport. Damn. Will have to catch you later in the summer, perhaps with the aforementioned chocolate cake!
I'll also be reading at Longfellow Books on 5/17, if you can make that, with or without cake! :-) I'll be visiting my mom's book club on 5/18, too.
FANTASTIC. 👏👏👏
The more we share, the more we realize how much we have in common!
Oh, my, I feel this. Both the New Yorker subscription (I just canceled too - couldn't take them stacking up and staring at me either. I was saying they need a "Reader's Digest" monthly edition of their best stories from each month.) And the face. I just keep hoping I can find a super rocking pair of glasses to hide all the wrinkles under the fab funky frames. I think this ...is the way.
If it makes you feel any better my skin has decided to become an uber-productive factory for skin tags and cherry angiomas, which makes makes me feel both unsexy and low-grade terrified I'll miss the small pox outbreak my inner hypochondriac is sure is camouflaging itself among my midlife bonus bits.
As one who is quickly approaching a REALLY BIG birthday number, I’m told I don’t look it and probably do think of myself as 20% younger. However, my core belief is that we should wear our wrinkles, sags, bags & greys with pride. Most of us have tried to live lives of meaningfulness, whether raising the next generation, caring for others, working for change in our communities. This all takes effort & hard work The effects on our bodies document our success & yes failures but not our decline! Be glad you have achieved whatever you’ve set out to do & can continue to do it. Use a little moisturizer, drink a lot of water* & celebrate that your good old body has stood by you long enough to give you the satisfaction of knowing you’re still killing it!
*Oh yeah Red wine also helps too!
SO weird that make-up doesn't help. (The concealer is called "F*ck I'm Flawless" by Il Makiage.)
I keep getting ads in instagram for Il Makiage. THEY KNOW
Yep, that's where I first saw it! I was totally suckered into buying it. My whole Instagram feed is ads for concealer, shapewear, and products that claim to help you sleep better. THEY TOTALLY KNOW.
Love your honesty and reality in your life Jame! Keep it comin”! Love you
Yep, I feel this. I remember standing with my mom in front of a mirror when she was about my current age, and she said “every morning I look in the mirror and think, ‘gosh I look tired today’ and i just realized that this is just how I look all the time now.” I have been noticing the same thing lately, when I look in the mirror and see the bags and circles under my eyes. I have never worn makeup regularly, but I recently invested in some expensive and amazing concealer. Seriously, this stuff covers up freckles, age spots, etc, and my teenage self would have drooled over its zit-covering potential. But you know what it doesn’t cover up? The SHADOWS cast by the GIANT bags under my eyes. It actually makes them worse somehow with greater contrast or something. I find myself feeling thankful that I have aged into needing glasses, because they (sort of) obstruct view of the bags. At least when I look in the mirror.
I think I feel about 38, so I guess I’m glad to be average.
Oh, that is a good endorsement for glasses. It is weird that makeup doesn't really help, right? (Also, what brand concealer is it?)
Also, later today I received the weekly "Shabbat Shalom" email from our rabbi, which was vaguely related to aging and included this piece at the end by Letty Cottin Pogrebin:
"What good is it to turn fifty with an unwrinkled face if there’s no light behind the eyes, not passion in the voice, no new ideas happening in the head? Why hope to live a long life if we’re only going to fill it with self-absorption, body maintenance, and image repair? When we die, do we want people to exclaim, “She looked ten years younger,” or do we want them to say, “She lived a great life”?"
Yup, I SO want to be one of those mythical paragons you describe. Maybe we'll get there in a few years and we can have a cup of green tea together.
I would say to Letty Cottin Pogrebin: How about both? :-D (And yes, we'll have that green tea someday. In the meantime....whiskey?)
Ha, yes.