I feel your pain and ambivalence. I remember when I let you fly out of the nest…many years ago but I punctuated the event with a day hike in the Whites…Ridge of the Caps Trail. This made things feel better but the longing for that era of having a daughter at home never completely goes away.
I cried when they got on the bus for kindergarten. I cried when I dropped them at college. The house does seem REALLY empty when they're gone, but right now, I have 2 of 3 back at home base and the other visiting often to make use of the island house. They do return. Especially if they enjoy you... and of course they do, 'cause you're good people. Without jowls.
I'm feeling a bit like you and a bit like Alastair--I may want the piles of crap gone from the house, but man, the house is going to be quiet. And boring. And I definitely can't believe how old they are.
Jane: It’s good to rehearse their leaving in your head, as you are doing, it helps you to be better prepared when the time comes. However, don’t visualize them totally gone for four years or even one whole year at a time. The reality is there are breaks and holidays, and they come home and fill up your house as before. And those breaks and holidays come around faster than you think. Meanwhile, your bracing yourself makes these remaining full years at home all the more precious and enjoyable, as you are discovering. And after college...adult kids are glorious, you are getting an inkling of that now. So, this mom of three grown sons wants you to know there is much to look forward to. Hope this helps.
Jane, the rhythm of your world will change for sure…. But we human beings are miraculous. We adapt. Enjoy every moment and cherish every big and little thing about parenting.
I haven't caught up with your writings in a long time, but this post like so many, is just so spot on for me. My girls are now sophmores, and 2 more full years at home is just not enough!!
You read my mind! I keep having these moments of panic that both my girls will be leaving home in 3 short years. And my friends keep reminding me that with twins, it's gonna happen all at once. I'm honestly terrified. Having them at home with me during the pandemic (I shifted to WFH and still do) was the best. And now that they're back in school, I'm lonely during the day. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when they go away to college.
I am right there with you on ALL of this! I am enjoying my 15yo 9th grader more than ever. I’m totally dreading the coop flying. What seemed to feel like an eternity away is so (too) close.
100%, Jane. Our kid has been away for the past few days at an outdoor school experience - first absence from home of more than 1 night since the Before Times. And I immediately was thinking about how little time we have left with her at home 💔
I feel your pain and ambivalence. I remember when I let you fly out of the nest…many years ago but I punctuated the event with a day hike in the Whites…Ridge of the Caps Trail. This made things feel better but the longing for that era of having a daughter at home never completely goes away.
I cried when they got on the bus for kindergarten. I cried when I dropped them at college. The house does seem REALLY empty when they're gone, but right now, I have 2 of 3 back at home base and the other visiting often to make use of the island house. They do return. Especially if they enjoy you... and of course they do, 'cause you're good people. Without jowls.
I'm feeling a bit like you and a bit like Alastair--I may want the piles of crap gone from the house, but man, the house is going to be quiet. And boring. And I definitely can't believe how old they are.
Jane: It’s good to rehearse their leaving in your head, as you are doing, it helps you to be better prepared when the time comes. However, don’t visualize them totally gone for four years or even one whole year at a time. The reality is there are breaks and holidays, and they come home and fill up your house as before. And those breaks and holidays come around faster than you think. Meanwhile, your bracing yourself makes these remaining full years at home all the more precious and enjoyable, as you are discovering. And after college...adult kids are glorious, you are getting an inkling of that now. So, this mom of three grown sons wants you to know there is much to look forward to. Hope this helps.
It does! Thank you!
Jane, the rhythm of your world will change for sure…. But we human beings are miraculous. We adapt. Enjoy every moment and cherish every big and little thing about parenting.
I haven't caught up with your writings in a long time, but this post like so many, is just so spot on for me. My girls are now sophmores, and 2 more full years at home is just not enough!!
You read my mind! I keep having these moments of panic that both my girls will be leaving home in 3 short years. And my friends keep reminding me that with twins, it's gonna happen all at once. I'm honestly terrified. Having them at home with me during the pandemic (I shifted to WFH and still do) was the best. And now that they're back in school, I'm lonely during the day. I can't imagine what it's going to be like when they go away to college.
I can deifinitely relate... my oldest is leaving for college in just a few short months! Ahhh! What is happening??!!
I am right there with you on ALL of this! I am enjoying my 15yo 9th grader more than ever. I’m totally dreading the coop flying. What seemed to feel like an eternity away is so (too) close.
You may have boomerang kids returning after college so that's something you can look forward to.
100%, Jane. Our kid has been away for the past few days at an outdoor school experience - first absence from home of more than 1 night since the Before Times. And I immediately was thinking about how little time we have left with her at home 💔
Really, harder than Clio’s cancer?
That's in a whole different category. I'm talking about the typical phases of parenting (infants, toddlers, school age kids, teens, adults, etc.)